HERE WE GO AGAIN

I don’t believe that when we do things we have done before it necessarily means that it’s going to be the same.

Each previous experience came with a certain set of circumstances, just like the next experience will come with a certain set of circumstances. Maybe I’m trying to convince myself that this time around things will be different, in life and love. Maybe I’m justifying my patterns because I’m not ready to let go and allow for change to sweep me off my feet. There is a lot of allowing that goes along with change. This mornings mantra while painting the new ventures walls were exactly that…allow allow allow.

Allow people to pop in when they feel like it and share their hearts and thoughts with you. Allow strangers to experience you in all aspects of your days as you get ready to yet again open the studio doors to the public. Allow yourself to relinquish and surrender control. Allow change to be good to you. Allow peoples advice to be wholesome and good and well intentioned. Allow your ideas to fall to the ground to make way for new ways of thinking. Allow the chaos to sew seeds of wild flowers to bring you joy in spring. Allow your heart to be hopeful for surf and sunshine and safety.

As I am writing this my skin has seen better days, my sleep routine is non-existent and a deep frown burrows through my forehead. I am dead tired. But as I am writing this I am also feeling brave and bold and proud of these steps I have taken over the past few weeks.

I had a good laugh while conversing with a friend this morning about how I am feeling about this new venture. We chatted about bravery and how so many friends, family and strangers have expressed their awe at my boldness of opening studio after studio all over. I’ve always wondered why the word brave comes to mind, to put it plainly I laugh in the face of challenges a new studio space brings. Even though there is fear of failure, the fear won’t stop me from making the decision to take on a new space. The area of life where fear still keeps me from stepping up is relationships. Cheekily I said, I would much rather take on a studio space in Scarborough than a romantic relationship. A commitment to my studio is easy, a commitment to a person is so much more complex. I hear the word ALLOW loudly ringing in my ears. My spirit self demanding to be heard and batting those limiting thought patterns.

As much as I don’t like change and all the allowing it comes with I am the first person to instigate change in my own life. As if provoking change by beating her to it. Once we become conscious of our own behavior we have an incredible opportunity to be witness to answers unfolding to the questions we carry.

So, as I prep the last of the space to open the latest Stefni Studio it’s not “here we go again”, it’s “I’m here to learn what life wants to teach me next”.

Stefni Studio will be opening doors at The Village Hub, Scarborough, Cape Town this September. Come have a coffee.

Stefni

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